1. A Very Sunny Christmas (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
When Charlie and Mac both realize that their childhood Christmases weren't normal (Charlie's mom was a prostitute and Mac's family stole their presents), they are upset but try to make the best of it by returning an old toy to the boy Mac stole it from. Meanwhile, Frank is doing what he does every Christmas: buy the presents Dennis and Dee want for himself. So Dennis and Dee try to teach him what a Scrooge he's being with the help of his old business partner, and show him his selfish past, present and future.
This episode is by far the best one on this list. I don't even know where to begin because there are so many great jokes, so I'll just share a few things I found funny. Mac's sleeveless Christmas shirt; Charlie and Mac's Christmas tradition of throwing rocks at trains; "Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus?"; Mac apologizing to the guy he stole the toy robot from and then refusing to give it back; "Oh, you can go fuck yourself in your fat fucking ass." If you haven't seen this, watch it now.
2. The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis (The Big Bang Theory)
Sheldon tries to find the most socially appropriate Christmas gift for Penny, but realizes no present he could ever give her would be good enough when she gives Sheldon his - a napkin signed by Leonard Nimoy.
The awkward hug Sheldon gives Penny after receiving her gift is one of the funniest moments in television ever.
3. How Lily Stole Christmas (How I Met Your Mother)
When Lily hears an old answering machine message where Ted calls her a "grinch", she takes down all the Christmas decorations in their apartment as punishment.
How I Met Your Mother is my #1 favourite show and this is one of my favourite episodes. I love the part when Ted has Christmas dinner with his cousin's super religious family. Lily, Marshall, Robin and Barney show up at the door with an apology beer and she admits to being a "grinch" (but she didn't say grinch, she said a very, very bad word) and the kids overhear and start chanting "Grinch! Grinch! Grinch!"
4. Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas (Community)
When Abed's mother cancels on him, ruining their annual tradition of watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer together, he retreats into an imaginary stop-motion animation world for comfort. He becomes adamant that he must find the true meaning of Christmas and sets out to find it with the help of the gang and Professor Duncan.
This is an Abed-heavy episode and he's the best character on Community, so of course this episode was awesome. My favourite part was when Abed opened a box labelled "The True Meaning of Christmas" and inside was Lost on DVD, "No it's a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff."
5. Moroccan Christmas (The Office)
Phyllis is the head of the Party Planning Committee and throws a Moroccan-themed Christmas party at the office. Meredith gets extremely drunk and accidentally sets her hair on fire, prompting her coworkers to discuss her alcoholism, culminating in Michael driving her to a rehab centre, but driving her back to the party when they tell him no one can be forced to check in. Meanwhile, Dwight has bought every copy of "Princess Unicorn," a doll with a unicorn horn on her head, which is the hottest selling Christmas toy. He's charging desperate parents $200 per doll and many parents buy one throughout the night, including Daryl and Toby.
I don't have much to add to this because I already mentioned the funniest moments in the summary. I especially love Princess Unicorn - "My horn can pierce the sky!"
6. The Strike (Seinfeld)
George's father decides to bring back a holiday he invented several years earlier. A Festivus for the rest of us - a holiday for people who despise the commercialization of Christmas. Instead of a tree there is an aluminum pole. The other traditions include the Airing of Grievances, where you tell your family the ways in which they've disappointed you over the past year, and the Feats of Strength, where the head of the household chooses someone to wrestle with.
This episode is not only hilarious but it's the only one on the list (other than The Best Christmukkuh ever) to spawn its own holiday, Festivus. This episode also features The Human Fund - a charity George invents to get out of giving his coworkers presents. Instead of a gift he gives them a card stating "A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund." Here's my favourite line from the episode:
- Frank Costanza: "Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."
7. Marge Be Not Proud (The Simpsons)
Bart desperately wants a violent new video game called Bonestorm (buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!) - so much that he steals it from the Try-n-Save. But he gets caught and hides it from Homer and Marge. But when the family gets their picture taken at the Try-n-Save, the security guard grabs him, ruining the photo in the process. Afterward Marge withdraws from Bart instead of punishing him because she thinks she's been mothering him too much. To make it up to her, Bart gets a picture of himself taken to replace the one he ruined.
I had a hard time choosing which Simpsons episode to include on this list. The episode on everyone else's list of "Best Christmas Episodes" is Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire, which is the first Simpsons Christmas special. I like it, but I find it a bit depressing. Homer doesn't get his Christmas bonus and works as a Santa to make extra cash. He still doesn't have enough money for presents and spends everything he makes on the dog races. But the owner of Santa's Little Helper tells him to get lost when he loses again and Homer brings him home for Christmas. It's an okay episode, but not as funny as others.
I also love Miracle on Evergreen Terrace. Bart wakes up early and destroys all the presents, then buries them in the snow and tells everyone they were robbed. The Springfield residents feel so bad about it that they all give them some money and they end up with enough cash to buy a new car. When everyone finds out that they lied, they end up stealing everything from their house to settle the score. My favourite part is when Marge goes on Jeopardy to try and win some money to pay everyone back and does so poorly that she's in the negative and after the show Alex Trebek tries to get her to give him the money.
I guess the main reason I chose this episode is because it has Bonestorm - "Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!" But it has other awesome jokes, like when Bart changes the cassette on the answering machine ("Marge, is Lisa at Camp Grenada?") or when Bart tries to make his own hot chocolate and the marshmallow absorbs all the hot chocolate ("Give me a slice!").
There are also many other funny Simpsons Christmas episodes: She of Little Faith (Lisa becomes a Buddhist), Kill Gil, Volumes I & II (Marge takes Gil in on Christmas because she feels sorry for him), The Fight Before Christmas (features three different segments), Simpsons Christmas Stories (features three different segments), Grift of the Magi (the kids are duped into creating a toy named Funzo), 'Tis the Fifteenth Season (McGrew's Christmas Carol makes Homer want to be a better person), Skinner's Sense of Snow (a blizzard traps the kids in school) and Holidays of Future Passed (Christmas takes place in the future when the kids are grown up).
Some of these episodes were divided into two DVDs.
8. Xmas Story (Futurama)
Fry is depressed because he misses good old fashioned 20th century Christmases. In an attempt to cheer him up, the rest of the Plant Express crew put up Christmas decorations. But a lot has changed. Christmas is now known as "Xmas" and a robotic Santa who has his standards set too high, deeming everybody naughty, roams the streets at sundown, killing anyone he sees.
The best part of this episode is the robot Santa.
9. Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo (South Park)
I had Woodland Critter Christmas on this list first, but then thought this would be a sad list if it didn't include Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. If you're wondering who he is, "He comes out of the toilet every year and gives presents to everybody who has a lot of fiber in their diet." This episode also has the infamous "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch" song. The DVD Christmas Time in South Park has Merry Christmas Charlie Manson, Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics, A Very Crappy Christmas, Red Sleigh Down, It's Christmas in Canada and Woodland Critter Christmas.
10. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas (Family Guy)
When Peter mistakenly gives all the family's presents away to charity, he goes to the mall with Lois to re-buy all the presents. While they're gone Brian burns the turkey and Christmas tree. Lois still believes they can have a wonderful Christmas and starts to clean up the mess, but when Meg says they're out of paper towels, she freaks out.
Peter's favourite Christmas special, Kiss Saves Santa (pictured above), is the best part of this episode. I wish it was a real show. But this episode of Family Guy has some good jokes. Like the part where Brian tries to put out the fire with an extinguisher but it's a gag one that's filled with plastic snakes which make the fire worse.
11. The Best Christmas Story Never Told (American Dad)
Stan is outraged when an injunction prohibits celebrating Christmas in public and declares that if he can't say it, he won't celebrate it. Later that night he's visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past because he's forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. The spirit takes him back to the 70's to see himself as a child, but he runs away at the mention of Jane Fonda, thinking that if he kills her, it will save Christmas. Stan ends up making the future worse and has to come up with different schemes to get everything back to normal. Meanwhile, in the 70's, Roger finds a disco cassette tape that Stan dropped and makes millions creating disco music.
There are a few American Dad Christmas episodes and they're all great. I chose this one for these lines:
Stan: Francine, I'm going to completely lose my Christmas cheer if I don't get someplace where they understand this holiday pronto.
Francine: We can stop by church.
Stan: I don't need to be bored, Francine. I need to be reminded of what Christmas is all about. To the shopping mall!
Stan: Ah, this is more like it. Two teenagers sitting on an old man's lap as a midget snaps a picture. If that doesn't commemorate our Savior's birth, I don't know what does.
Hayley: This year, Santa smelled like whiskey and the midget smelled like pot.
Steve: I know. When did they change it up?
Francine: Well, isn't that cute. Roger's making a snow angel... a face down snow angel... in a pile of angel vomit.
Hayley: He's passed out, Mom. He's been binge drinking since Thanksgiving.
12. The Best Christmukkah Ever (The O.C.)
Seth introduces Ryan to their annual holiday tradition: Christmukkah, which is "eight days of presents, followed by one day of many presents." And boy does Seth get many presents. He gets a homemade comic book from Anna and Summer dresses up as Wonder Woman for him. But when Anna walks in on them, the girls decide that he has to choose. He decides he just wants to be friends with them, but neither of them want to be just friends. So it's a sad Christmukkah for Seth Cohen. Something also happens to Marissa and Ryan, but it's probably just something about her being a drunk and him being his usual boring self.
This episode created the holiday "Christmukkuh." Although I love it and think it's one of the greatest episodes of the best teen soap of all time, I was so disappointed that Seth didn't just choose one of them. I mean, any choice would've been better than no choice at all. But I adore this episode despite that. Obviously, he should've chosen Anna. She made him a comic book with him as the superhero! All Summer did was slut up! The biggest disappointment in The O.C. is that Seth (eventually) chooses Summer over Anna.
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